17 May 2021 (M)
I’m incredibly grateful for the people in my life. The smart (probably dead) person who said that “the people closest to you are your most important asset” was really onto something. And SG staff, you rock — your kind words and friendship are a real source of warmth and stability. Thanks for kicking off the day (indeed, this year) quite remarkably 😊
18 May 2021 (Tu)
I just learned that critical discourse is a thing, and it sounds fascinating — language viewed as a form of social practice, highlighting issues of power asymmetries, manipulation, exploitation, and structural inequities in domains such as education, media, and politics.
19 May 2021 (W)
Quality time with boyo in the morning has a very real productivity cost (and leads to later nights), but wow is it worth it ❤️
20 May 2021 (Th)
For a late(ish) birthday present, WL arranged for us to spend two nights at [redacted]. Their slogan is (seriously), “…Peaceful and quiet with strict Rules…” (sic). That the “R” is capitalised says a great deal on its own, but is also incidental to the main point here. One of those rules (in bold, unlike the rest) is, “No men with earrings or visible piercings are allowed on the property“. I shit you not. Our stay has been pleasant so far, but it’s going to be an exercise in self-control not to a) get a piercing out of spite or b) ask what the story behind that rule is (and probably end up in a fat argument that gets us kicked out anyway.) I’m so much my father’s son in this – the moment I read that rule, I got earrings and piercings all over the visible bits of my body. In spirit, at least.
21 May 2021 (F)
We need to do this more often. Time away from keyboards and work responsibilities, together in a place where WL can swim and boy is happy. Yes sir, this is important for sustainable health and shit.
22 May 2021 (Sa)
Yikes. When boy decides to not sleep, he really does it properly. 30 minutes of screaming at 1:30 in the morning, followed by waking up every hour for 5 – 20 minutes at a time between 01:00 and 06:30 is not fun.
Also, sleeping bags are great for camping, but I will always choose a comfortable duvet when the option (and a bed) is available.
23 May 2021 (Su)
Five new things happened today:
- Stephan was on time for a service (and was there before me nogals)
- Stephan played keys in a service
- A song was lead by a member of the congregation, totally unplanned
- Andre preached in English (because there was a French woman in the congregation)
- I followed a whole sermon at SG for the first time (that I can remember)
There is SO MUCH to be said for mother-tongue comfort. Wow. And tonight was hella special. It was the most welcome I have felt in a service as a congregant here that I can remember (“as a congregant” is critical context here — I’ve always felt welcomed and appreciated by the staff/team).
24 May 2021 (M)
I’ve found that my life hasn’t necessarily gotten harder as I get older — high school was pretty hellish, for example. But as I get older and take on more responsibility, the complexity of life and the cost of failure increases. I find myself investing more energy into simply juggling everything demanding my attention, internally and externally; being a great employee, an effective leader and co-worker, a creative creator, a great husband and father, a stable provider for my family, a conscientious individual concerned with the world beyond the walls of my house, someone who is constantly growing and improving, a good friend… the list goes on (and each item on that list has multiple sub-responsibilities).
It’s not a bad thing. It does get tiring, some days. But it is also so much more rewarding.
25 May 2021 (Tu)
Positive procrastination — especially if it forces you to change your setting or posture — is a fantastic way of getting shit done when you really really don’t want to do a specific task, but still have to work. However, the cost of doing it too often can be that you’re constantly stressed about the deadlines that don’t go away, and you’re tired because you’re working the whole time. In my experience, first prize is doing it infrequently, and doing something completely different — cleaning the house if you work behind the computer, or working through those emails if your job is generally more active.
26 May 2021 (W)
Make quality time a priority.
Speak kindly as often as possible (especially when you think you’re right).
Appreciate the time you have with the people you love the most.
Accept that sounding like a fortune cookie is the price to pay for acknowledging things that matter to you when you’re tired and words escape you.
27 May 2021 (Th)
Managing a project where really busy senior people have to provide you with content or decisions feels like herding cats. It’s not that they don’t want to help — on the contrary, they’ve expressed multiple times how important said project is and how keen they are to contribute — but they’re just so busy with life that if you don’t constantly remind them, your little request is on a perma-slip-slide down to the bottom of their to-do list.
28 May 2021 (F)
This week felt like at least two. Chatting to a friend, I realised that this is about the busiest I’ve ever been. Not just hours — 13thFLOOR would put up a hard fight — but in terms of depth and breadth of responsibility. And the most surprising part to me is that I’m coping quite well (for the most part); a decade ago, the idea of having to work two jobs was wild. Now I’m working three and doing some freelance stuff on the side. But I can feel that the additional effort, responsibility and hours has made me more robust, more confident in my own capabilities, and more able to take on new challenges. It’s a very stretching time, but I’m seeing real value in it.
29 May 2021 (Sa)
Building on last night’s observations, I’m coming to appreciate my tendency to constantly self-regulate. It does make me, to loosely paraphrase my good friend David, “an infuriatingly indecisive ass”, but as I get older, diversify the types of input I have in my life and start applying the valuable principles therein, that double-mindedness has become more of an asset. I’m able to hold tension between opposing ideas better, and identify and respond to potential issues in my life before they become real issues.
A great case in point is drinking. I enjoy a glass of wine or whiskey in the evening, but because there is a history of alcoholism in my family I’m acutely aware of making it a habit, or falling into any of the three (that I know of) big traps: drinking in secret (I usually drink “alone” because alcohol doesn’t really agree with WLs constitution, but I never hide it from her), needing to drink (especially in the context of managing mood or ability to function), or drinking in a manner or quantity that negatively influences my relationships or finances. So I keep track of my alcohol consumption to make sure there are no trends that I would otherwise be ignorant of, and modify my behaviour if I feel it’s becoming at all unhealthy.
It’s a type of accountability that I’ve tried to build into my life in a number of areas, and reflecting on it today, I realised that it is indicative of growth and a the kind of healthy practice I didn’t believe I was capable of in the past.
30 May 2021 (Su)
Chatting to people at church today, I realised that I don’t socially filter myself a great deal, with one pertinent exception: when I am in my powerful dynamic mode, I am extra aware and restrictive of my desires to speak (read: usually interrupt others) and hug or otherwise physically banter with others. I think it’s at a healthy space now, but during my reflection I realised that it is rooted — for a large part — in the burning shame of a 4- to 7-year boy being rebuffed — sometimes very publicly — for trying to engage with and show affection to adults he adored in the best way he knew how; huge hugs and unfiltered verbal diarrhoea.
My socially conscious brain knows why.
My inner child still just wants to love everyone loudly anyway.
31 May 2021 (M)
So, we just dropped boyo off at school for the first time. It’s still sinking in, but the silence in the house (especially now that WL is off to the office) is noticeable. I’m really grateful we can do this, and literally every single parent I’ve spoken to about this said something along the lines of, “this is going to be the best thing for him and for you guys”, but it’s still quite a transition.
So I’m going to take a moment to appreciate and acknowledge our baby boy, who until an hour ago was 100% our responsibility, and we were the only people who fed into his life.
That is no longer the case. Grow my little chappie and enjoy this new experience. I know you’re going to become an absolutely incredible human being, and I’m sure that you will be a blessing and delight to everyone else you meet, like you are a blessing and a delight to us ❤️
During our personeelvergardering today, we had to answer 16 open-ended questions (loosely themed around personal growth) contributed by the group. Then we were split in pairs and tasked with reflecting on our answers; what is our conscious saying to us? what is our subconscious saying to us? are there any themes? On reflection, a few key things stood out:
- consciously, I’m feeling challenged, robust, accomplished and incredibly grateful
- subconsciously, I’m tired, stretched, concerned about the future, yet much more settled in myself.
As I was chatting to André about my answers, I realised something really important: I’m really starting to like myself — the quiet, focused introvert (who was a much more prominent part of my personality for years) and the dynamic, wild-energied character who simply doesn’t give a fuck about social convention (and quite often, consequences). The introvert was always the stable, accepted side of me and the other an “acting out” of sorts. But I’ve come to realise that both are fully me, and both are beautiful, valuable and worth celebrating.
1 June 2021 (Tu)
How is it that Tuesday afternoon feels like next week Thursday 😐 Boyo is slowly settling in at school, but I’m really struggling to get going this week because this new schedule is so inconsistent. Once he’s settled it’s going to be great, but him only going in for a few hours every day for the next week or two is going to be challenging to navigate.
2 June 2021 (W)
I trust WL with myself. Speaking honestly about my emotions while I’m feeling them is something I really struggle with, but she has a way of gently probing that opens me up. The conversation wasn’t easy (and got a little heated), but it was SO good. If you find a woman like that, don’t let her go ❤️
3 June 2021 (Th)
Yesterday — well, this whole week — was a fucking rough one. I almost did some bad mad dad things yesterday, but managed to maintain my composure (for which I am deeply grateful). I was really worried about today, but between last night’s chat with WL and the fact that she took boyo today so I was able to really settle down and worked made the WORLD of difference. I feel like a new, better person now.
However, this does raise the question; why does getting my work done (or not) affect me so much? I can cognitively understand and rationalise why life is as it is right now, but understanding it and embracing it are very different things. I heard the other day again how valuable it is, when you’re in a dynamic life situation, to fully embrace the quality time you get with loved ones:
– happy hormones
– better memories
– deeper connections
But the pressure of my deadlines crushes all the knowledge and winds me into stress-powered dynamo, looking at every minute like it’s the last minute to make progress on the — probably relatively insignificant in the greater scheme of things — task I’m facing now.
I need to do better at this, because I only have another 600 – 900 days before boyo is at school for most of the day, and I don’t get to appreciate his smooshy face, wild curiosity and bubbly joy when he discovers a new thing, or something happens that he likes, or any of a thousand other things that make him such an delight to be with.
4 June 2021 (F)
Okay, so the soft launch of the website is scheduled for next week. And it’s for ±20 high-profile global leaders within the TWNAF movement. I’m honestly a little nervous, because even though I’m really proud of the website, I haven’t ever had to publicly display my web work to international stakeholders (in the sense that the website represents them, and gives them extra tools to build the movement in their country), and I’ve literally done this WHOLE thing myself — from the pitch to the production to the design to the development to… everything. I’m trying to avoid it becoming my leg baby (thanks for that unforgettable mental image Matt) but it’s hard, given how much time and effort I’ve put into it over the last year.
5 June 2021 (Sa)
My wife is gold, and I appreciate the FUCK out of her ❤️❤️❤️ I can’t get over how well she holds deep conversations, pulling out important things and being so deeply empathetic while not pulling punches or avoiding saying important things.
Also, I need to spend more time in the garden. It’s really good for me.
6 June 2021 (Su)
Four hours sleep on a regular basis is really not enough to function effectively on.
On an unrelated note, Charl is a champ. I’m good enough at my job that I didn’t struggle alone, but not having him around this morning was weird; it felt a little like a missing loved one was missing.
7 June 2021 (M)
So, today kinda sucked. I didn’t complete some important SG work I was supposed to do, and got a deserved slap over the wrists for it. It was a weird place to be in though — I really hate being reprimanded (whether or not I deserve it), and while I’ve gotten very good at accepting responsibility for my shit, I also always aware of extenuating circumstances (in no small part because I’m constantly aware of them for other people too; I’m the king of understanding and rationalising failure in others). So it was a challenge, accepting the reprimand and knowing I’d missed the deadline, regardless of the circumstances.
Because that’s the other (probably more important thing) here: I’m incurably optimistic and confident the situation will work out okay in the end. (If notice I’m not finding silver linings somewhere, you might have cause for concern). That is very much a character thing, but as I was mulling it over, I realised that it is also very much a privilege thing. It’s easy enough to believe that things will generally work out well in the end if you have the stable upbringing and safety nets to assure it. If I compare my context to, say, a woman who grew up being abused and is currently fighting for survival, it quickly becomes apparent that my optimism is probably less resilient than the deep hope of someone who really has been through the wringer and still manages to see potential in each new day.
8 June 2021 (Tu)
The day was a blur but the website is almost ready for launch.
9 June 2021 (W)
The day was a blur but the website is almost ready for launch.
(It was such an intense few days I really can’t think of much more to say. I got through them is about all.)
10 June 2021 (Th)
So, the soft launch of the new TWNAF website went really well 🙂
As grateful as I am that the launch was well received, another thing struck me. Presenting the website — the culmination of at least 250 hours’ work over the past two years — to 12 international leaders confirmed that I not only do I know the product well, but I felt so competent and in control of everything. I anticipated all of the questions, and while I did stumble around a bit at times (public speaking will never be a natural gifting), I was confident, composed and facilitated a roughly 90-minute session displaying and discussing the website.
It’s a great feeling, competence. I want more of it.
11 June 2021 (F)
This week wrecked me — between the lack of sleep, the intense focus on the launch and being a little under the weather, I woke up feeling like a truck hit me and it didn’t get much better.
Also, bloody boyo spent between 21:30 and 03:30 alternatively crying, jumping around, almost sleeping then coughing and moaning, wriggling around trying to get comfortable, wriggling around trying to convince us that it’s time to play, moaning some more, sleeping just enough to give us hope that we’ll actually get some sleep, and crying some more.
We’re not massive fans of co-sleeping, but on nights like last night, anything that gets him to settle down and sleep.
12 June 2021 (Sa)
Oh man, I enjoy buying new plants. Really really love it. I think that might be one of the main reasons I want to own property — so that I can do whatever I want to it, which will definitely include creating a dog-free, child-safe garden I can plant all sorts of delightful things in.
Also, I really suck at this daily reflection thing. The last 11 days have been done in two days. Discipline really isn’t my strong suit you guys 😐
13 June 2021 (Su)
A few things:
- 06:30 is still an unfriendly time of the day in winter (maybe I’ll understand why some people love it in the future, but right now it’s just a whole lot of nope)
- I quickly get suspicious of performative displays of emotion, especially in a church context. Yet watching people engage with and react to the music was such a delight. I think it’s probably because for the most part, they don’t (in SG at least).
- I’m really optimistic about our new evening structure. It feels like there’s finally scope for more; for connection, for engaging with challenging topics, for asking honest questions. It will be an absolute delight if we start seeing conversations between diverse people (in SG context, at least) on how the church can make a real impact in the world, and face questions like social justice, equality, LGBTQIA affirmation and so on.
I really enjoying working with SG. For a number of reasons, but one of main ones is that the leadership embodies the desired values.
14 June 2021 (M)
I know it’s been a long few weeks when during any meeting I’m not actively facilitating or contributing to, I start zoning out and having weird little daydreams.
Sleep deprivation is real ya’ll.
Also, keeping a house tidy is great example of entropy in action. No matter how recently you’ve cleaned, within a day you’ll be wondering how that cupboard got so cluttered, or why there seems to be a small furry animal living under your couch (that turns out to be the accumulated shedding of your larger furry animal).
15 June 2021 (Tu)
This week feels like a hangover after a wild night. I’m feeling better than yesterday, but still needed to take a nap in the morning to continue functioning properly the rest of the day. And even then, I found myself literally just staring at the screen at times — it felt a bit like I was that old Windows screensaver where you wait for the ball to bounce perfectly in the corner before moving the mouse again.
Then, in the evening, WL and I watched the first few episodes of Sweet Tooth (really great, by the way). As we were watching, everything felt right. That isn’t always the case when I watch series (alone or with her), but this time it felt like what André calls restorative rest. Even though it was just watching series, we were intentionally spending quality time with each other, actively avoiding work (even though we both had things we could be doing). I find something restorative about intentionally carving out rest time for myself, largely because most week days I’m constantly wearing a harness to my laptop — whatever I’m doing, it’s only going to be matter of time before I sit down and work again. Breaking out of that mindset on occasion is really good for me.
16 June 2021 (W – Youth Day)
Reading posts about Youth Day, I realise just how apathetic I’ve become about active engagement in social justice and advocacy. It’s hard to admit (especially because it feels sometime like my whole life context is rooted in social justice in one way or another), but it feels like I’m coasting. Two of my jobs are public-benefit orgs, so while a lot of my time is in or around the social development space, when it comes to active social justice, I’m living quite vicariously. I need to do better.
Also, I freaking love my wife and son. Sayings like “your love grows every day” sounds hallmark-sweet, but it’s the only way I can describe the way I feel right now #blessed 🤢😂❤️
17 June 2021 (Th)
Public holidays on Wednesdays are weird, because Thursday feels like another Monday and then heyo! it’s Friday again.
Also, it’s great hearing that the work I do matters, and the people I work for really want to keep me because I add value. Even though I’m still not quite creating beauty the way I’d like to be doing so, it is validating to know that the effort I’ve put in over the last few years to be conscientious and produce consistently high quality work is paying off.
18 June 2021 (F)
Crap! I pressed pause on the Clarity Quest email while editing last night and forgot to unpause it.
It’s a simple, silly mistake, but it got me wondering: how many silly mistakes can one make before it becomes a problematic trend? How many silly mistakes does it take to sink a relationship or job? (Thankfully, hobbies and food are more or less immune — if you enjoy doing it or have to do it every day, silly mistakes don’t compound as much.)
While pondering this, I realised that I have so much to be grateful for in my work context. All three of my employers are — to varying degrees — are more concerned about commitment over perfection. As long as the mistakes are acknowledged and corrected as soon as possible (and systems put in place to avoid them in the future), it’s not a massive grief. Like, making a silly mistake doesn’t leave me in a cold sweat wondering when I’m going to get the, “Listen, we need to talk” message.
The other question here is twofold: is the way I’m systematising solutions for silly mistakes working? And am I doing enough work to figure out the cause of those mistakes? Some of them are undoubtably just little things that slip my attention, while others are because I set a very high standard for myself, so some of my mistakes might not even register for others. But, for example, I’ve missed important deadlines and meetings before for things that really wouldn’t have taken that long to complete, simply because I didn’t attend to it or schedule it when landing in my inbox.
I don’t really have answers to the above yet. But I’m aware of them, and trying to be intentional about addressing them.
19 June 2021 (Sa)
Pleasure + satiety + dopamine barrier -> anhedonia
20 June 2021 (Su)
SUPER COOL FDay gift (the gift you didn’t know you needed until you get it
21 June 2021 (M)
The value of compounding activity is something I consistently underestimate. For example, instead of having invested years of small amounts of effort into becoming an excellent producer and composer, I’ve invested years of small amounts of time into building a few friendships and becoming a less awful gamer. The friends are valuable, but the gaming is a poor tradeoff.
The right question forces you to consider something you haven’t before, or consider something in a new way that leads to epiphany and generative action.
22 June 2021 (Tu)
Finally committed to (well, on a trial basis for now) a cloud backup system. Also realised I am terrible at building and sticking to good habits. But was reminded of James Clear’s habit stacking concept, so definitely gonna give that another go.
23 June 2021 (W)
I didn’t make time to write on Friday and Saturday (right now they just say “oink”, which feels appropriate somehow), so I spend a few minutes looking through my calendar, ClickUp and WhatsApp for the work I did on Friday to see if I could remember any insights I had. While searching, it struck me that my life is so insular right now that at any time on any given week my response to, “what’s up dawg?” will most likely be “work”, “sorting boyo”, “munching something quick”, “about to work” or “can’t talk now, working”. I thought I was okay with that, but as I work on F’s stuff for the Clarity quest, I realise that I’m unconsciously dissatisfied but stuck too deep in a rut to do much about it.
Even now the rut-words are saying “but you’re too busy”, “but you have to work to earn money” , “but you don’t have time for anything else right now”. I don’t agree with them. They’re not entirely wrong, but my current lifestyle is more to do with the choices I make about my time than it is about my circumstances. For example, I could:
– wake up at 5:30 and spend an hour doing something generative
– eat and start working by 6:30ish
– by the time 14:00 comes around, I’ll be mostly done with my work for the day, so I can spend quality time with boy doing all sorts of interesting things.
I’m really not a morning person, but I’ve also never given myself a genuine opportunity to become one because I default to working in the evening, and unwinding for an hour or two after I work (which sometimes sees me in bed still reading at 02:30 in the morning). It would take an entire lifestyle shift to start earlier, but I keep wondering if it might not be worth the effort to give it a proper test.
But I think I try it out in summer, because getting up kak early in winter SUCKS ass.
24 June 2021 (Th)
So, after 3 days of getting better, boyo’s temperature hit 41 again last night. The pitter patter of his little feet coming to join us in bed was adorable, until we felt just how hot he was. Poor little guy. It sucks that the only way to build resilience to disease is by getting sick, but there’s a whole of metaphor in there too. I don’t have the wakefulness to properly unpack it now, but it does echo a great deal of what I’m journeying through right now with regards to fitness and spiritual/emotional health. Lots of words are trying to make their way onto this page, but I’m not in the headspace to do them justice, except to say that I feel more content and confident in my identity and convictions around challenging ideas than I have in a long time, and it is only because I’ve allowed myself to “get sick”, to start plumbing the things that I would previously avoid for fear of totally caving in.
25 June 2021 (Fr)
I don’t do drugs, I do salt and vinegar butter popcorn 🤤
26 June 2021 (Sa)
I feel so sorry for my little guy when he’s sick like this. But he is also SUPER cuddly, which makes for some great quality time.
27 June 2021 (Su)
Empathy is such a weird trait. It’s one of the few characteristics in a person that can genuinely feel like “magic”, because it relies on subconscious analysis of a situation to make character judgements that, if you are sensitive, can be frighteningly accurate. From an evolutionary perspective it both makes sense — bonding, connection with your tribe, getting a sense of the mood in a space and responding accordingly to improve your “value”, and so on — and can be an incredible weakness — your concern for others can be manipulated to the detriment of both parties.
I’m not referring to the intentional consideration of others here, by the way. This is about those people who seem naturally in tune with the people around them, like they’re seeing an entirely different dimension that most of the rest of us aren’t privy to.
28 June 2021 (M)
Got some really solid feedback on the website. It is direct and quite critical, which is EXACTLY what I wanted. I like that about myself; despite having sensitive spots like everyone else, when I’ve made up my mind that I need correction on something (or am working in a context that I’m comfortable in), I’m capable of almost completely removing my emotional attachment from a thing, and get really excited when people uncover and point out flaws or mistakes.
May I never lose my ability to be taught and accept criticism.
29 June 2021 (Tu)
Succeeding at tech support makes me feel a little bit like a hero. Even when the issue isn’t all that complicated, correctly troubleshooting and resolving it is such a gratifying experience. It’s not that I’d want to do tech support my whole life long (although I’m sure I will be, even on an informal level), but it really is satisfying when things work out — especially when it requires even just a little bit of “arcane” knowledge or experience.
30 June 2021 (W)
Just found out that [redacted] decided to not get the COVID vaccine, which lead to a pretty heated discussion between WL and I. Long story short, I handled it poorly. I still stand by what I said, but I left her feeling unsupported and alone. It’s really hard, staying connected when I feel as triggered as I do by this conversation.
Also, what a wild day. We had people doing maintenance the whole day, so I was herding the dogs and boyo around, and trying to get stuff done in between. While all of this was happening, we noticed that a section of drywall that was added to round off a section of the roof in the lounge was literally falling off. So they had to knock that out as well, to prevent it from falling down randomly at some point. And on top of it all, we noticed that the tyre on the car was flat, so I’ll have to deal with that tomorrow.
At least I’m off tomorrow and Friday. So that’s something 🙂
1 July 2021 (T)
I had plans for today, but they got derailed by life. That’s to be expected sometimes, but it remains frustrating. I will say though, Brandon Sanderson is an absolutely MASTERFUL storyteller — the way he writes keeps me so hooked I found myself working in the kitchen today, book in hand. Baking and reading aren’t the most comfortable of bedmates, but I made. it. work. so that I didn’t have to stop reading.
2 July 2021 (F)
I really should find a better way to keep notes of the things I want to write here. At least three times a day a thought or idea crosses my mind or path that just begs to be reflected on here, but by the time I get to writing this at the end of the day, I’ve forgotten it. The irony in this is that I’m the guy who is constantly preaching to others about finding technologies to help make their lives better — I’m not far short from a ClickUp evangelist at this point.
3 July 2021 (Sa)
I had most of the day of for gaming, and while it was nice to unwind like that, a few things stood out:
- This is the third or fourth time that we’ve set aside a day for gaming (ranked, even) and just gotten absolutely STOMPED. It’s so strange — over the course of a month, we’ll have some good games and some bad games. But actually set aside time to unwind and have fun, and it’s just super frustratingly loss after loss after loss.
- I’m a slave to achieving mastery. That in itself can be a great thing, I just need to transition it to a better output than getting that damn S on LB
4 July 2021 (Su)
I had thoughts today.
5 July 2021 (M)
So, today was productive:
- Had my first meeting with Aspire — really like the team so far. Job #4 is up and running 👍
- Had a lekker mid-year closing meeting with SG, and received some really powerful affirmation:
“You are a constant, you are constant”
“You are a wonderful engaging father”
“Your rhythmic energy, your honest questioning and seeking of truth”
“The world need more fathers like you.”
“I appreciate the ever-positive attitude and respect for everyone who cross paths with you”
“I want to affirm your honesty and willingness to share your vulnerability”
“I’m inspired by your quest for justice and your need/ability to challenge the status quo.”
- I deleted the game. Time for another gaming sabbatical.
- I was faced with the choice of working late or going to bed early. I was in bed before 12pm 👏
6 July 2021 (Tu)
Gaming sabbaticals are really hard, especially after a season of lots of playing. There are so many triggers to play that I’ve buried just below the surface, that, when flipped now, produce a weird buzzy combination of frustration and relief.
Also, a quick addendum to my claims framework. There are actually 5 types of claim:
- A belief — unfalsifiable and unprovable (by contemporary scientific and epistemological standards) outside of individual personal experience or belief framework, held by a large number of people lending credence to the idea (“The moon landing was faked” / “God loves everyone”).
- An opinion — unfalsifiable and unprovable, held individually (“I like apples” / “Big Whiskey & the GrooGrux King is the best dad-rock album of all time”).
- A recollection — Potentially provable or falsifiable, depending on witnesses and existence and quality of recording of the event (“She said ‘I love you’ as you walked away” / “He slapped her first”).
- A testable fact claim — Any single claim that can be directly tested and proved true or false (“Water in my city boils at 98°C” / “I can run 100m faster than you”).
- A compound fact claim — A fact claim that can be tested, but relies on multiple testable fact claims to be present and coherent in order to be proven true or false (“Global warming is real and has detrimental effects on humans” / “The earth is flat”).
And a fun little quote I read recently that touches on this: “Our knowledge of anything is limited by the quality of our sensors.”
7 July 2021 (W)
8 July 2021 (Th)
Brandon Sanderson is a terror. His writing is so good it sucks me in and gets me to completely ignore other responsibilities while I’m in the zone he created. Dammit sir, you excellent issue you.
9 July 2021 (F)
I’m a sucker for excellent media. I deleted LoL on Monday because I felt it was time for a sabbatical. Then this morning after dropping boyo at school, I happened upon the writeup for the Sentinels event, and it blew my mind. League already has an incredibly rich lore and fantastic media to go along with it, but apart from a brief binge in 2016, I never really got too deep into it. But the way they built out this event was so impressive, it got me to reinstall. The media is excellent as always, but as I read through the event writeup, what stood out for me was just how intricate and well-thought out it was. It is clear that not only do the game designers love the game, but they also love the craft of building beautiful, rich experiences for their users. I was chatting to Kwosie about it after gaming a bit tonight, and we both felt like this is the first time that we feel compelled to buy the event pass (which gives all sorts of neat little perks). It really is quite something.
Also, I’m the official narrator of the storyline when we complete quests. It’s a blasty.
10 July 2021 (Sa)
I need to remember that going to bed at 3am isn’t conducive to excellence the following day. At best, I get sleepy mediocrity with spikes of “I’m not that old yet!” energy.
Also, we got a swing today, and I discovered that in the absence of a hand drill, a proper drill works just fine for screwing screws into large chunks of wood (just make sure you have the right sized bit, otherwise you’re stripping the bit or the screw).
11 July 2021 (Su)
I need to preface today’s though with a minor epiphany I had the other day. I’ve been putting a lot of unrealistic pressure on myself to turn music into a source of passive income, where in reality I don’t have the time or infrastructure to do so properly right now. And because the word “income” is connected, writing music is stuck in the “work” box in my head. I realised that I need to shift it from the “work” box to the “play” box for this season, while I don’t have the capacity to give music as a career the priority it deserves. Which takes me to the thoughts I had today.
I was thinking through what I want out of the next few years, and realised that I want to save up in order to take a 3-month sabbatical (preferably in 2023) to write music for work while paying myself from the money I saved. I’ll have to keep on doing my TWNAF and SG work (assuming both roles are still active then), but if they are then with the money I saved I can invest a good 20-odd hours a week over 3 months. What could I do with 320 focused hours? That’s the question I want to answer.
Here’s the reason why I think this is worth pursuing. Previously, when I had more time available, I also had very little internal motivation, structure, and my work ethic was up to shit. The last two years have taught me so much, particularly in terms of what I am capable of if I structure my time and energy more efficiently. I want to harness that productive energy and channel it into something that I really love, and see what comes of it.
12 July 2021 (Mo)
Hot damn but it took a long time to get going today. Some Mondays are great, and the culminate in a sense of accomplishment. Days like today, while not unproductive, feel like wading through mud the entire day.
13 July 2021 (Tu)
My friend the Kwosie invited me to play some ranked with him tonight. I was keen and had done good work (and exercised!) during the day, so I accepted his invitation.
What followed was a shitshow of the highest order — I think we played 5 games in total across 4 different game modes, and lost every. single. one. It’s wierd though; it feels like the moment one of us say “let’s commit time to this game with the intent of improving”, things go absolutely pear-shaped. Last time it was my invite to him and Chris for my off day, and over the course of the day we won 2 games (like, a ~90% loss rate).
I dunno if it’s sheer dumb luck, God, the universe or the staggering balance of probability, but it seems like I REALLY must leave the professionalism to the pros, and just enjoy it here and there.
14 July 2021 (W)
Josh Bernoff’s post challenged me today — he’s been blogging every weekday since 2015, writing ±1.5 million words over 1700 posts which have received about 3.5 million views and 9000 comments.
Something in that really tugs at my soul. If I’m honest with myself, there are three things:
- I admire — envy might even be appropriate here — his commitment and capacity to write every day. And it’s almost always great content; insightful, researched and generally useful.
- I really want to engage that amount of people. I want to do something in the public view that matters, that generates conversation and hopefully moves the needle slightly towards the positive on some level.
- I wonder how many opportunities (work, life and otherwise) came from all that writing.
There is so much to be said for commitment to a craft, and consistently practicing it in a public sphere. Exposure and opportunities aside, it is such a great way to improve on your craft because the more people consume it, the more feedback you get. And feedback is simply data you can use to grow.
15 July 2021 (Th)
Editing F’s interview with Leigh Joy (link) — “I lean into my echo chamber” — first time I’ve heard that phrased being used in a positive context, which leads me to wonder, what does a healthy echo chamber look like?
- different for everyone
- outcome of leaning into echo chamber must be more health
For example, someone with crippling self-doubt might build an echo chamber of people who affirm their value as an individual, whereas someone who has identified toxic ideology in their lives might build an echo chamber of people who lovingly challenge their beliefs and always present them with an alternative perspective that disagrees with their own.
16 July 2021 (F)
While chatting to David about vaccines and anti-vaxxers he posed an interesting, if obnoxious question; what do you do with the stupid? What do you do when enough people shout ignorant dangerous fallacies so loudly that it becomes mainstream rhetoric? By all rights, anti-vaxxers should be a crazy fringe group with about as much credibility as doomsday cultists. Instead, they’ve become a scarily popular alternative to… well, reason, common sense and good science.
(GNU) Terry Pratchett quipped that the IQ of a mob can be calculated by dividing the IQ of the least intelligent member by the number of people in the mob. That’s the stupid right there; it’s not that everyone who believes stupid things are stupid — some incredibly intelligent people hold wild beliefs — but the momentum stupid ideas have is what makes them so terrifying. And because of the low IQ of the stupid, well-reasoned arguments and calm deliberation just doesn’t work a majority of the time. So what do we do? I’m really not sure. Demonstrable proof helps, and compassion is a great tool for reaching individuals, but halting the momentum of the stupid takes a lot more than some calm words and well-articulated evidence.
17 July 2021 (Sa)
Dammit. Playing late is fun (especially when having good conversation), but 03:20 is a STUPID time to go to bed. I should really remind myself of that more often when I’m tempted to just “play one more game” / “read one more chapter” 🤦♂️ (We’ll speak about self-sabotage another day when I’m braining gooderer.)
Otherwise, what a chilled day — spent most of it pottering around the house and generally not doing anything much of anything. I try not have too many days like this, but it is such a tonic for me on occasion.
Also, I discovered the absolute WORST game for me (which I’m now playing like a crack addict): CUE — Cards, the Universe and Everything. It’s a card trading game with really simple mechanics, made complex by the fact that the cards are comprised of just about everything. Basically, anything you can put in a picture, they use as a card. And it’s a collectors game! It triggers my Input and the compulsive collector in me so hard.
Thankfully, I’ve been here before, and know this ride. I’ll be HARD addicted for the next week or two, then the craving will slowly fade and it will just become another thing I enjoy every now and then (I hope — it’s rare that the things I get addicted to trigger more than one big character trait).
18 July 2021 (Su)
Today was delightful. After a slowish morning, we went to the farmers market near Klein Joostenberg. It was small for a market, but it had lots of plants (I had to exercise great self-restraint (and still came back with two anyway) and some great produce options. Oh, and delicious sauces.
Also, really satisfied with my work at SG. Set up the amps and passive monitors — not that I’m excited to carry those bitches every week again, but it felt good to have a plan and complete it before getting home in time for lockdown curfew.
19 July 2021 (M)
Today was delightful
20 July 2021 (Tu)
Today was delightful
21 July 2021 (W)
Today was delightful
22 July 2021 (Th)
So, Nicholas decided today that it is time I got my computer repaired. He was standing on the step playing with one of his heavier toys, then said “kabum” and threw it. Straight at my laptop. It bounced off the (R5k) speaker (which is thankfully a lot more sturdy) and clipped the side of the machine, which restarted then threw out application errors and is now convinced that there is no wi-fi module installed 🤦♂️
Kids are a blessing until they wreck your important shit. Then they’re an object lesson in patience.
23 July 2021 (F)
Today was delightful. We visited the Bothas and had a lekker braai. Maaaan, I miss the binnebraai at Holly Oak.
24 July 2021 (Sa)
More kuier, more braai, and I can finally eat again without pain! It was also a delight seeing Nicolette’s face when she saw the swing up and working 🙂
25 July 2021 (Su)
The road between Hartenbos and Stellenbosch is LOOOONG ya’ll. But it’s great travelling it with your person (and your smaller person is a good passenger the whole way).
26 July 2021 (M)
Today was nice. For a Monday. And by that I mean, I GOT THE JAB! It was an almost 3-hour process, but it was so satisfying walking out of there knowing that I’m one step closer to immunity from the beast.
27 July 2021 (Tu)
Working for four different organisations has some unique advantages, when all of your work is more or less in the same line. And while I’m not a massive fan of working under heavy pressure or with a tiny budget, I’ve found that both of those constraints force lateral thinking, which is has lead to some useful discoveries (WaveApps, NinjaInvoice, WMPU-DEV, a handful of really neat WordPress plugins, making Google Drive do all sorts of interesting things…).
28 July 2021 (W)
So, apparently I’m not getting to claim sick leave due to the vaccination side-effects. My wonderfully robust immune system ensured that I suffered no more than a light headache most of the next day. I’m feeling quite chipper again today (a possible additional side-effect of the smugsauce inherent in the vaccinated).
29 July 2021 (Th)
If you’ve read this far, you’ll notice that there hasn’t been much going on over the last few days, but today was quite interesting. On my way to fetch my laptop, a friendly dude pointed out that my rear left tyre was flat. After driving a km or two to find a safe spot off the highway (and out of the rain) to change it, I got the car jacked up, the nuts out and… nothing. The wheel was jammed so tightly onto the hub there wasn’t even the slightest bit of play. After chatting to dad to make sure there was no lasting damage and spending 15 minutes banging on it to try get it loose (and scoring maybe two degrees of wiggle), I noticed a tow-truck driver parked on the other side of the bride strut. He was kind enough to take a look, and after another 25 minutes of wiggling and banging we (almost simultaneously) realised that there was a whole other tyre laying next to the car which could provide a whole lot of momentum. A short burst of cardio later, and I finally got the damn wheel changed.
In the time-honoured words of the interwebs…
30 July 2021 (F)
Opened the laptop. Tested the laptop. Discovered that the one USB port still gives a small amount of power (I can charge a low-voltage device on it), but not enough to power my sound card, mouse or external drives. I guess we’re headed back to the shop ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
31 July 2021 (Sa)
Went wine tasting on the Franschoek Wine Tram and learned 3 valuable lessons:
- It’s going to be more expensive than you think
- Don’t taste at every stop. Or if you do, spit.
- Drink LOTS of water.
1 August 2021 (Su)
It’s really satisfying when you do a job and it works first time, and properly. I made the patch cables for the amp rack at SG, and sommer fixed the faulty sub cable while I was at it. It wasn’t particularly hard work, but it was a little fiddly at times and just so satisfying wiggling that cable and not hearing the bass dropping out at all
2 August 2021 (M)
Julia Michaels really is a top-tier producer. Just, wow. I can’t get Pessimist out of my head.
Also, I really need to find a better way to do this. I have so many great things I want to talk about, reflect on and otherwise capture, but those thoughts usually come while working, driving or in the shower. (p.s. if you’re reading this and want to fund a top-tier shower idea, message me yeah?) As I read back on some of my posts over the last while, they just seem so banal. There’s a massive disconnect between the person I know I can be when I actually pay attention to the world and deeply engage with it, and the distracted, flippant person I present a lot of the time.
Most of the time I’m not flippant because I don’t care. It’s because I’m confident there is something more important just around the corner that will require more attention, and giving too much energy to what is right in front of me will rob me of a better opportunity later. Yeah, I know; that’s really dumb. But conservation of energy is a hard-wired pattern in my life, and I wonder how much it has cost me. I was watching some Olympics earlier tonight, and I heard one of the commentators say, “Why would he be conserving energy? It’s the Olympics‽” I wonder how many times I’ve done that; conserve energy for something in the future when I’m at the Olympics.
Also, Chet Faker is one of my new favourite jams.
Okay fine, here’s the full playlist (iTunes smart playlists are the bomb — just add the artists you like and any time a new song is added to your library that fits the criteria, it is also added to that playlist):
- Julia Michaels (🐐)
- Chet Faker
- Quinn XCII
Other notable additions to a slightly more varied playlist (that fit into the same general vibe of top-tier, non-bubblegum, pristine-production pop) are
- Jon Bellion (🙇♂️)
- AJR (🙇♂️)
- Billie Eilish
- Jack Garrat (🙇♂️)
- Oh Wonder (🙇♂️)
- Tom Walker
- Tove Styke
- Yorke (some of her stuff, most notably Treading Water)
- A handful of Zedd’s pop colabs.
3 August 2021 (Tu)
Julia Michaels really is a top-tier producer. Just, wow.
4 August 2021 (W)
Praying (specifically, to a deity) is, if you really think about it, quite an odd practice. I mean, I get it — I’ve been praying my whole life. But whenever I ruminate on it I’m struck by how obscure it is to converse with and petition an intangible, unprovable entity. And regardless of whether or not God exists in any form — never mind the specific form that each individual human has created — engaging with the numinous as though it were an individual seems quite bizarre. Most Christian denominations hold that the Godhead is intimately engaged in our affairs on one level or another, but that belief is only really consistent internally; remove the authority of the Bible as fact and the argument for God’s benign involvement in human affairs becomes fragile at best. It’s little wonder that atheists joke about our “invisible friend”, and organised religion is occasionally — and rather uncharitably — characterised as a massive shared delusion.
But then, isn’t that a pretty good description for any intangible construct or belief system? A shared delusion that requires acceptance of a (usually inaccessible to the common man) creed in order to be credible? Take money (a subject I know very little about but have regularly seen referenced as a prime example of this). Despite having once been based on tangible commodities, is for the most part given value by a shared societal imagination. The systems that govern global finance and pecuniary worth are heinously convoluted, and while it is a logical fallacy to assume that just because something is convoluted it can’t be valid, it is an indictment of illusory nature of wealth. At the end of the day, if all electricity fails us, wealth will suddenly mean something completely different; secure land, reliable access to food and water, non-perishable goods. We’d be back to bartering, and likely end up using the mighty dollar notes as toilet paper.
All of this to say that while I consider prayer a really odd practice, it is no less odd than having a bank account or observing social norms.
5 August 2021 (Th)
Man, it’s frustrating doing a whole lot of work for a meeting, only to discover the direction has changed and what you built is no longer necessary.
6 August 2021 (F)
One of the reasons I started deconstructing was when I realised just how many people and things you are supposed to be against when you’re a Good Christian™. Obviously, no matter what your value system, there will be things and people that you stand in opposition to. But I’d like to choose those things for myself, rather than having them prescribed to me.
7 August 2021 (Sa)
Gerhard died today. (I’m writing this 4 days later and it’s still not quite real.) The man was so solid, so real. I didn’t know him as well as the others in the office did, but even still, I already miss his gravelly voice, his considerate nature and his tendency to always make sure you thought everything through properly and were able to justify your decisions.
I don’t have words right now. The funeral is coming up on Sunday, and I’m honestly not sure how it’s going to hit me. The weird thing is that even though we weren’t super close, he is still probably the closest person to me who has died, which, in all honesty, says a whole lot about things I’d rather not contemplate right now.
Also, this TWNAF website is giving me grey hairs.
8 August 2021 (Su)
To make this weekend even more wild, Nicholas started getting sick last night, and by today he was pretty feverish and really unhappy with life. I spent most of the day working on the website, but I’m super tired from the last few days of work. As much as I love the community, it’s a blessing that SG services are closed right now.
9 August 2021 (Mo)
Man, that child is a wreck. He’s been moaning the whole day, with a temperature closing in on 40. The meds help, but if he doesn’t improve soon we’re taking him to the doctor/hospital. It’s heartbreaking seeing him moan and shiver and there is just nothing we can do about it. Last time he was like this it only took a day or two of meds and he got over the worst of it — I really hope the same thing happens here.
10 August 2021 (Tu)
After another long moaning shivering session this morning, we took him to the doc. And typically, on the drive there he suddenly perked up (as he has been wont to do during this illness when the meds kick in, which is why we waited so long to take him in) and was bouncing around the waiting room 🙄. But by the time the doc saw him he was dipping again, allowing him to get a good sense of what is wrong. Looks like it is just a virus, so he gave us some stronger meds and good advice.
#protip: When your kid goes to school for the first time, they will get sick. It’s normal (apparently), and is how their immune systems get all beefy. But it really SUCKS when they’re burning up in tears on your chest 😢
11 August 2021 (We)
So, boyo is responding really well to the meds, which is a relief. He slept through last night, and hasn’t has a single feverish spell today. Here’s hoping the next few days go as well, and he sleeps through the night.
Also, I’m seriously considering getting rid of CUE. I love the community, but the game is sucking me in hard. It appeals to the collector in me, my addictive nature (the slight rng in the games and the luck of the card packs) and the mild challenge of getting to the top payout-tier.
12 August 2021 (Th)
Super grateful that boyo seems better. He’s still a little fragile, but all in all seems like he’s in a pretty good spot.
13 August 2021 (F)
Geez Louise, what a week. Today hardly feels like Friday, given the public holiday on Monday. Yet it feels very much like I’ve worked 5 full days since the weekend. And processing Gerhard’s death has put a really odd spin on things; I’ve had a number of concerned messages just making sure I’m okay, which I really appreciate, but made the week feel quite surreal.
14 August 2021 (Sa)
I was expecting a hectic work day, but WL needed to do lab stuff so I spent much of the day with boy, followed by a really enjoyable family time. I drive myself really hard when working because I always feel the urgency of multiple employers who deserve equal priority, but I have to constantly remind myself that while jobs will come and go, my family is who I come home to every day (even if coming home simply means turning off the computer), and are the ones who — if I put energy and love into the relationships — will be the closest to me throughout my life.
Even if that means paying for quality time by working till 4:20 in the morning 🙂
15 August 2021 (Su)
Gerhard’s funeral was today. Watching it online was a little frustrating because not being physically present meant not being able to really engage emotionally, but as I haven’t been feeling a whole lot other than work focus and sleep deprivation, I don’t think the digital distance is entirely to blame.
The funeral did confirm a few things for me though:
- I need to engage more and deeper in my relationships. I have some great friendships, but hearing the way people spoke about Gerhard; well, I’m not sure my relationships are deep enough currently that people would say similarly meaningful things about me.
- Deconstruction is really hard. And the deeper you are in a faith community, the harder it is on everyone involved.
- I need to spend more time doing what I ought (music, relationships) and less time doing… well, everything else.
That said, it was great spending quality family time after the funeral. And the fact that the Coetzenburg fields (and the hiking trails) are available to the public is such a privilege — one that we really should utilise more often.
16 August 2021 (Mo)
I rarely allow myself to be bored.
17 August 2021 (Tu)
Gerhard’s funeral was today. Watching it online was a little frustrating because not being physically present meant not being able to really engage emotionally, but as I haven’t been feeling a
18 August 2021 (W)
Gerhard’s funeral was today. Watching it online was a little frustrating because not being physically present meant not being able to really engage emotionally, but as I haven’t been feeling a
19 August 2021 (Th)
Gerhard’s funeral was today. Watching it online was a little frustrating because not being physically present meant not being able to really engage emotionally, but as I haven’t been feeling a
20 August 2021 (F)
I had the most amazingly productive day today. I’m not sure why, because there were no changes to my habits, sleep or general anything that might have facilitated it, but for the first time in weeks I felt totally focussed and achieved a whole lot in the process. I freaking earned that braai 😉
21 August 2021 (Sa)
Today was pretty uneventful except for Chris popping, which was a pleasant surprise. I do hate days that get to 3pm and I still feel like I’ve accomplished nothing though, unless my goal is to unwind and do nothing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
22 August 2021 (Su)
I played a few games in the evening with Kwosie before going to bed — I really hate starting the week without ending the weekend on an enjoyable note — and did really well on my LB. I’ve noticed that when I don’t allow myself to get hyper-focused on CS (and I’m not really tired), my overall gameplay and positional awareness is much better.
This translates into my life on many levels. I can get hyper-focused on one important aspect of a situation, and lose focus on the bigger picture, often to my detriment. A great example of this is my hyper-awareness of the hours I owe my various employers. Staying cognisant of my responsibilities is a critical skill, but sometimes I working so late early in the week to stay abreast that by the time I get to Wednesday and Thursday I’ve burned out most of my energy, detrimentally affecting my focus and productivity. Additionally, when I step back and focus on the bigger picture, I often notice how many small but important non-work-related tasks I could quickly knock off, and when I actually do them, I feel much better about life in general.
23 August 2021 (Mo)
I had to coach someone today on a web-builder platform, and I was reminded how much I enjoy teaching something I’m confident at. Whether it’s in a formal or informal setting, I really need to spend more time teaching and coaching.
24 August 2021 (Tu)
Gah. This week feels like it’s gonna be a LOOONG one.
25 August 2021 (W)
Yep, this week is exhausting already, and it’s only Wednesday.
26 August 2021 (Tu)
I’ve realised I’ve put quite a lot of energy into CUE, but I don’t get much return on the investment, so to speak. Which lead me to wonder about André’s whole schpiel about generative rest, and how energised I feel when I’m putting energy into things that return it, so to speak. Once the CUE obsession passes, I wonder what else in my life I can channel my energy into that returns more value to me.
27 August 2021 (F)
Thank God it’s Friday. It doesn’t much feel like it (I’m still sitting here working at 18:00), but at least I have some sort of a weekend ahead.
28 August 2021 (Sa)
So, I just learned some really great things about doing a tax return.
- Any money you contribute to a retirement annuity (up to certain thresholds) is automatically deducted from your taxable income. So instead of saving my SARS monies, I’m going to just shunt it into my RA (which is woefully far behind where it should be at this point in my life.
- When you’re working from home, you can deduct a crapload of expenses. You have to be careful though, because SARS is super pedantic about any deductions that could be used to abuse the system, especially entertainment.
- If you’re a freelancer with multiple contracts/employers/streams of income, you don’t have to declare every income stream individually. To make life easier for yourself, combine the income from each non-salaried (IRP5) income stream under one name. This makes claiming deductions really easy (otherwise you have to divide up utilities etc. between the various streams, which will just add to the admin and increase the likelihood of some grumpy auditor finding an issue.
Also, the racist guy at [redacted]. Yikes.
29 August 2021 (Su)
When I’m feeling overloaded with work that all seems to be equally urgent, this is the system I use to decide what to focus on first:
- Time-critical tasks (i.e. deadline overdue, today or tomorrow)
- Tasks that can be completed quickly, especially those that are blocking other people’s work
- Tasks that have a meaningful breakpoint and will feel satisfying completing (i.e. editing a whole chapter of a book)
- Tasks that are a real pain to do, but don’t actually take much time, just a lot of effort
- Non-time-critical tasks that will take a long time, but will result in completing a meaningful chunk of a larger project
30 August 2021 (M)
André asked us what we’ve “lost in the fire” during the last ~18 months of COVID lockdown, and I realised two things:
- I really really miss team sports. I’m craving getting back into ultimate, or playing cricket, or… well, anything that requires involved multiple people chasing a ball or frisbee together.
- I’m seeking out digital communities, and getting really excited at the faux validation I receive from being part of the community. It speaks to something deeper, but I’m not exactly sure so I’m gonna have to do some more introspection to understand it better. I don’t think enjoying validation is an issue per sé, but I have a suspicion that in this case, it is a form of displacement activity. So we’ll do some more digging and see.
31 August 2021 (Tu)
The bad part about being the designer, developer and project lead when building a website is… oh, lots of things.
The good part about being the designer, developer and project lead when building a website is that when you realise you won’t launch in time and have control of the social media accounts, you pop a snarky little “sorry I’m gonna be late” post up and voila! 3 more days to work on it 😁